Happiness

I've always equated being happy to what other people's standards are. Money, sex, significant others, job, possessions, their body. And I have always judged people by what makes them happy. If it's money, they're greedy. Sex, they're slutty. Significant others mean they can't be happy alone. Job, over achiever and typically don't have a life. Possessions, materialistic. Body, oh lord don't get me started but if you equated having a hot body to being happy I would have made fun of you while I ate a box of cookies and a giant burger in front of you . 

When I wasn't happy, I only cared about one of the things listed above. And I judged myself on it. And to fill the void of happiness I would shop my heart out. I have about a closet full of clothes I've never worn that still have tags on them! I'm not proud of it, but it is what it is. Then when the shopping lost it's high, I started a business. First it was Scentsy, and I failed miserably. Then it was Mary Kay. That was a joke, I have make up I ordered that will never get used! Why on earth did I order dark brown base when I am pale as a ghost...? Some things I will never understand. Then I joined It Works! I tried when I started this business, but I lost interest after 4 months. I started shopping again. THEN, I started pure romance. I never once did anything. I swore then, mlm's were not for me and I would never do one again. 

Then I decided I would try to make myself happy again. This time I turned my focus on my weight. "Maybe if I get skinny some one will love me and I'll be happy." This was an actual thought I had when I got out of my last bad relationship. I know it's a bad thought; but I was in a bad place. So I started looking in to every thing you could imagine. I found plexus. I started the products and fell in love. I am a firm believe in NEVER PAY RETAIL. It is ingrained in my head and has been since I was born, THANKS GRANNY! So I joined for the prices. I'm cheap, don't hate. But I was not interested in working the business until almost a week laters when someone asked for my website. Then someone joined my team. Then I was hooked. Maybe there was something to this thing. 2 weeks later and I promoted to silver. Then I decided well I'm going to convention 4 months later. And I went. I was so happy. 

In that time between me joining and going to convention. I lost weight. I fell I love with the most amazing man. Found out I was pregnant. But most importantly I fell in love with myself. I became healthy and all of those negative thoughts vanished. It's amazing what changing your lifestyle can do to your self esteem. Even if I wasn't losing weight with plexus I don't think I could ever quit it. Even if I wasn't making money, I couldn't quit. I found my self and my happiness thru these products. They helped me let go of the hurt and my food and shopping problems. I became "me" again. And that has been the best side effect I could ever have imagined. 

So yes I joined a mlm, and I love it. I am happy with my life. 2 beautiful little girls. 1 amazing man who I love with all of my heart. And a booming business that Hod has blessed me with. 

I am happy. I'm starting to find my footing...